MomBod: It Takes a Village

No worries I had no idea either until I was given the book “The Fifth Trimester: The Working Mom’s Guide to Style, Sanity, and Big Success After Baby” by Lauren Smith Brody. By no means did I finish it because life just serves me up like that BUT I did learn that the fifth trimester is real and she describes this as the time “the working mom is born”.

It has been 3.5 years since my last childbirth and I have been a working mom since 2017.

How am I feeling?

Overall, I’m great. Some days I’m drowning and constantly in survival mode with a coffee in my hand. Other days I feel like a superwoman getting everything done and showing up on time, still with a coffee in my hand because why not. 

The hardest part about this point in time? EVERYTHING. 

Motherhood is meant to be hard. If it were easy, everyone would be doing it. It is meant to be overwhelmingly uncomfortable at times. It is meant to be tiring. 

If it’s not any of those, THEN TEACH ME YOUR WAYS. But more than likely it is and that just means you’re doing it all right. 

Because without those things we wouldn’t learn to be the resilient women and mothers we are. We learn to be creative, patient, and above all else, selfless individuals. I am by far the furthest from being perfect, but what I am learning is to stop criticizing myself during these moments in time. Am I always the least bit of patient? Not at all. Have I been relying heavily on Disney+ to keep their attention? Definitely. But every day I have been waking up and trying to do my best with being there for the both of them, as well as being there for myself.

Did I mention that everything is hard? 

The toughest period for me was dropping my kids off at daycare during the COVID-19 pandemic, then going to work all day. It was mentally and emotionally draining with the fear of receiving a phone call that daycare will be closing or that my kids have been exposed. As well as for others, perhaps yourself, being at work. The constant disinfecting. The constant screening of clients/customers at work to make sure they are not being exposed. The constant mental takeover that COVID-19 did and is still instilling in nearly everyone. 

I have slowly recovered from that stress, just for it to turn into other kinds of stress. With that, I have noticed that my overall recovery from stress has improved as well. It could be due to the endless tasks I tend to assign myself and not having the time to sit and sulk in the exhaustiveness of hearing mama for the 1000th time. Or, it could be the fact that I sought help from a therapist when I realized I was losing myself back in 2019. Yes, it was definitely that.

It has been interesting to see the transition from that young girl in college, to working, and then going home to one kid and a husband, to now two kids and a husband. Oh and cannot forget the two dogs. Talk about balance.

5 Things I have learned during this time:

1. Mental focus
2. Time management
3. Prioritize 
4. Routine
5. Self care 

Mental Focus

No matter what the task is between work and home, to be all in. Be present. Be intentional. No matter the amount of time I am dedicating towards something, my mind needs to be all the way there for the best outcome. When I am at work, I am focused on being the best coworker, employee, and well-being coordinator to my client. When I am at home, I am focused on being the best wife and mom I can be. When those roles overlap, because that’s just what they do at times, I give myself grace and do the best I can and be present in that moment and give that moment whatever part of me needs to be there to get past it.

Time Management

In order to maximize the days, I allot a certain amount of time towards individual tasks, and keep it moving to the next after the time has passed. Has that been successful? Absolutely not! I am one that has to complete a task before moving to the next so this has been a work in progress. HOWEVER, with that realization, the frustration levels have gone down because interruptions happen and it is okay to not finish. I have not quite kept my time managed enough to maintain a good workout week, but here we are and life stays with throwing punches. 

Prioritize

This one goes hand in hand with time management. If it was not for my Passion Planner, I would be all over the place with my tasks and engagements. I literally have to write down EVERYTHING. I try my best to write the most important to-dos and engagements at the top and on their dates so that I am able to plan accordingly, and stick to them. Do things still tend to overlap? YES. But I go with the most important duties and reschedule the things that can be rescheduled. Changing things around is a pet peeve of mine BUT I’m a work in progress and that’s all that matters for now. 

Routine

Did I mention I hate changing things around? I don’t think anyone will ever understand the extent of how much my mind is bothered when I have to move things around. I love and NEED routine. It’s literally my way of life. Without it, I feel out of place and like I’m scrambling. No one wants to feel like that, I hope. How do I stick to a routine? I prep and plan my time as much as I can. Am I usually running late? Sometimes. Have I ever arrived early for something? Sometimes. Just depends on the day and mood the kids are in. I am learning to ease the frustration of rushing, and enjoying the moments I do have with the kids. But still sticking to my order of operations of course. 

Self Care

And last but FAR FROM the least, self-care. Two kids in, you realize how much of yourself you give to everyone else. Later nights. Mornings start earlier. Coffee gets cold. Food gets cold if you’ve got a chance to even fix yourself a plate. And at the end of the day, exhaustion takes over, just before the cycle starts all over again and you’re back to saving the world. How could I POSSIBLY make time for myself? I schedule it and make it part of my ROUTINE. It is an absolute MUST that I take one day every month to a month and a half to get a manicure and pedicure. I’ve even added deep tissue massages and facials to the calendar because the tension is REAL. I never did master the proper breastfeeding form so there I was, massaging out the kinks little by little. Whether that’s me taking a personal day from work while the kids are in school, or assigning daddy duties on the weekends, it’s a must that I go out and treat myself. I’m a happier mama and wife when feeling good. No if, ands, or buts about that. It’s a fact. 

I say all this to say, life is good. It’s a constant learning process, literally from day to day, hour to hour, minute to minute. Like I said before, we learn to be resilient and do what works for US. Other mamas are out there learning other lessons, doing other things and that’s okay. Maybe you don’t have or need a routine, and that’s okay. Perhaps you feel like you don’t have it together on most days, and have to cry it out. That’s okay too. I love a good cry sesh. Either way, these babies are growing with or without us. So do the best you can to be the best you can for them AND yourself. Just know you have a village within this space cheering for you and rooting you on. You are a good mama. Once you start believing that, everything else will fall in line.